Wow, I didn't realize it has been nearly a month since I updated this blog. So much has happened in the last few weeks. I've been busy with finals at school, work, the jumper biz has been booming with a couple parties per week & of course my daddy duties are NEVER done! My sons 8th birthday was 2 weeks ago & we had a HUGE birthday for him. It was basically his prequel for his super 16th in 8 years from now. Man we spent but everyone had a great time....even the few kids who cried when I refereed to them sitting on the loser side after losing a few of the games we played. Yea I know, wrong choice of words with kids, but I was just playin sheesh! I don't think anyone was more upset than the bday boy himself. He punched me in the stomach & called me a cheater for not letting him win at Giant Twister. SMH, lucky it was his day other wise I would have power bombed him!(Thats a wrestling move usually done by larger wrestlers with smaller opponents ladies.
But I digress, so lets see, what can we talk about this week to get everyone up to speed. Lets see, I hit you with spoiling my kids, the father to father talk I had with one of the dads at the boys taekwondo school & the difficulty raising 2 different kids with the same basic rules. So today I will talk about the events of the day. So here we go. So lately, my sons have been super embarrassed by some...a few..ok ALL of my antics. What I do seems cool to other kids, but it makes my sadditty kids cringe! I don't mean to embarrass them. I try to be aware of that type of thing, but I guess me yelling I love you across a class room with 65% girls in it is a bit much...maybe adding that blown kiss at the end was a lil over the top? Eh well, they'll live. My mom hugged & kissed us in front of friends all the time. We just got used to it & I guess it's carrying over to my kids.
So today my son was all excited to go to school. Not sure why but he had an extra bit of swag in his step onto campus this morning. Maybe it's because he's done with his STAR testing & gets to play or maybe it's the cute girl in his class he has a crush on that I am not supposed to know about. Either way, he was pumped! He shot out of the car so fast this morning, that he didn't even take his seat belt all the way off! He even forgot to give me our daily hand shake which I look forward to since I can't get a hug good bye anymore. So he leaves me & his little brother standing there & yells PEACE! SO Isaiah & I keep it movin & go on with our day. Now I am a firm believer in Karma, & since mr. Cool Daevon aka D-Money decided to diss me & his brother this morning he had that never forgiving accident at school. He wet his pants tryin to be cool using the 6th grade urinals which goes up to his chest & he has to stand on his tippy toes to use.
Luckly no one saw this happen so he ran to the office & told them to call his dad to bring him some clothes. When I got to his school, his little face was beet red with embarrassment. SO to make him feel better, I told him about the time I too peed my pants at school. The difference was, I was about to be a sophomore in high school. WAY more embarrassing. The school nurse even said a teacher did it last week. Thank goodness she didn't share which teacher it was, but knowing most of the staff the way I do, I can pretty much guess which one it was...lets just say, I think she teachers my son Isaiah's kindergarten class...yall didn't hear that from me!
Moving on. So as we rolled home, I tried giving him a pep talk, about accidents happening & he was a big boy so he needed to be more careful so on & so forth. But he seemed like he could care less what I was saying. I decided not to tease or make light of the situation so I took him home, gave him a quick shower then took him to McDonald's for a fun lunch before I took him back to school. SO we get back to the school & I go to give him a fatherly hug feeling good like I just saved the day & he puts his hand out to give me dap then says "thanks for your help today daddy, but can I walk to class myself" I asked why? He said "so I don't embarrass him". Then he runs off to class as I stand there with a grin on my face. This kid pees himself at school, but he is still more embarrassed of me going into his class with him than having to explain his whereabouts to his classmates & teacher. Now that I know he's ok...tomorrow embarrassing daddy shall have his REVENGE!!! MUHAHAHAHA
Until next time,
D
Monday, May 16, 2011
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Father to Father Convo
Hey everyone. Don't you just love short work weeks! I know I do. For those of you not fortunate enough to get Good Friday off, may I just say, MUHAHAHAHA! Kidding. Sorry for ya! But I do get the day off & plan to get a little rest after running some errands for the biz & getting my grill drilled! My teeth are JACKED up! Anywho. Let's get on with this.
So as I said, it's a short week for me. I am currently in school working on that ever elusive degree & taking 3 classes this semester. This is Spring break so I am able to get home by 6! It feels weird being home so early watching TV. But it's cool cuz I get to hang with my boys longer. I also got to take them to their Taekwondo class without rushing. GASP! So as my kids were training, I got into a lengthy conversation with 1 of the dads there. His son is one of the older kids & ours started around the same time. His son should be about an advanced red belt by now since he started as a white belt while my kids spent the 1st 6 months in the tiny tiger program. Well now he is only 1 level ahead of them as an advanced blue belt while my sons are both blue belts.
The kids dad was obviously upset by this, but admitted it was his fault because he had no faith in his son & purposely asked to hold him back due to his son misbehaving at home & school. Now he sees younger kids like mine, passsing him by. I sat there listing to this man talk about his son with such disgust. He said his son was bad at school, bad at TKD & bad at home. Never listens & so on. It was very annoying. I mean we all want whats best for our kids & I know at times I can be kinda hard on my boys trying to get them to always try their best but I would never ever speak about my sons with such disapproval. This guy spoke highly of his daughters, but made his son sound like left overs. I watched as his son looked back to see if his dad was watching & his dad would bark orders at him. Then the kid would just start acting up. Playing around & stuff. As an older child he sets the tone for how the younger kids will try to act.
So of course my son started acting out. But after listing to this other father, I immediately changed up. I wasn't going to yell at my sons the way this guy did. I don't want to be that parent. I don't want my kids to think I am not proud of them. The stuff I put them through is not easy. I know this. If it was, every kid would do it. We practice at home. Reading, writing, math, TKD & just everyday behavior. I try to teach them to take pride in what they do & not get into bad habits. Then we go out & people give me & their mom all of these kudos. The man I spoke to praised me for being able to handle both of them as well as I do & admitted he was at the end of his rope with his son. It was sad. I can only imagine what that kid is going through. My dad wasn't there, so I never had that disapproving father. I try not to do that to my sons, but maybe me being so hard on them or pushing them to be their best makes them feel that way. I really hope not. If so I have to really re-evaluate how I approach being a father. I always speak highly of my kids to people. I tell the good & bad, but I don't call my child dumb or slow. I don't demean them.
So the dad asked me for some tips. Keep in mind this is an older man, with older children who falls into the majority category. So the fact that he asked me for fatherly advice honestly made me feel validated as a parent. That maybe I am doing some things right. So I told him that the last thing I want to do is scar my kids. I try positive reinforcement. Even when they act up or I have to discipline them, I let em know that I am doing it out of love. That I only care about them being ok when I am not around. I want them to understand that in life, nothing is given. So the fact that I am putting them on this path to learn to succeed at an early age, shouldn't be taken for granted. I don't sugar coat things with them. The world is not covered in marshmallows & lollipops. It's ugly & the few out their with happy lives had to work for that life.
My kids understand hard work. They also understand the rewards of doing their best. They are accomplishing things at 6 & 7 that I haven't even done at 35. So I am 100% proud of them. He said I was right & maybe he expected too much from his son & would loosen up a bit. I told him not to expect less, just don't be so hard on him when he makes a mistake. Don't get me wrong, I bark orders at my kids. When they make a mistake or act bratty I let them know. I'm not going to love them any less or give up on them. So when he says he's fed up or tired of trying, his sons can feel that. I also told him that I pick my battles with my kids. I don't have the energy to make every little thing they do a big deal. So getting upset with them for not doing as well in 1 thing as they do in another, is pointless to me. I try to help them get better in their weak areas, but I understand that maybe that is not their talent. My sons love taekwondo, but they don't really have a talent for it. So I'm not going to explode because they struggle with the newer moves. My kids aren't the athletic types where it all comes easy to them, but they try their best, thats all I ask.
So to the father I spoke with, I hope you figure it all out & you can look past you son's faults & figure out how to make life better at home & school for him otherwise your son will grow up resenting you & scarred.
Until next time
D
So as I said, it's a short week for me. I am currently in school working on that ever elusive degree & taking 3 classes this semester. This is Spring break so I am able to get home by 6! It feels weird being home so early watching TV. But it's cool cuz I get to hang with my boys longer. I also got to take them to their Taekwondo class without rushing. GASP! So as my kids were training, I got into a lengthy conversation with 1 of the dads there. His son is one of the older kids & ours started around the same time. His son should be about an advanced red belt by now since he started as a white belt while my kids spent the 1st 6 months in the tiny tiger program. Well now he is only 1 level ahead of them as an advanced blue belt while my sons are both blue belts.
The kids dad was obviously upset by this, but admitted it was his fault because he had no faith in his son & purposely asked to hold him back due to his son misbehaving at home & school. Now he sees younger kids like mine, passsing him by. I sat there listing to this man talk about his son with such disgust. He said his son was bad at school, bad at TKD & bad at home. Never listens & so on. It was very annoying. I mean we all want whats best for our kids & I know at times I can be kinda hard on my boys trying to get them to always try their best but I would never ever speak about my sons with such disapproval. This guy spoke highly of his daughters, but made his son sound like left overs. I watched as his son looked back to see if his dad was watching & his dad would bark orders at him. Then the kid would just start acting up. Playing around & stuff. As an older child he sets the tone for how the younger kids will try to act.
So of course my son started acting out. But after listing to this other father, I immediately changed up. I wasn't going to yell at my sons the way this guy did. I don't want to be that parent. I don't want my kids to think I am not proud of them. The stuff I put them through is not easy. I know this. If it was, every kid would do it. We practice at home. Reading, writing, math, TKD & just everyday behavior. I try to teach them to take pride in what they do & not get into bad habits. Then we go out & people give me & their mom all of these kudos. The man I spoke to praised me for being able to handle both of them as well as I do & admitted he was at the end of his rope with his son. It was sad. I can only imagine what that kid is going through. My dad wasn't there, so I never had that disapproving father. I try not to do that to my sons, but maybe me being so hard on them or pushing them to be their best makes them feel that way. I really hope not. If so I have to really re-evaluate how I approach being a father. I always speak highly of my kids to people. I tell the good & bad, but I don't call my child dumb or slow. I don't demean them.
So the dad asked me for some tips. Keep in mind this is an older man, with older children who falls into the majority category. So the fact that he asked me for fatherly advice honestly made me feel validated as a parent. That maybe I am doing some things right. So I told him that the last thing I want to do is scar my kids. I try positive reinforcement. Even when they act up or I have to discipline them, I let em know that I am doing it out of love. That I only care about them being ok when I am not around. I want them to understand that in life, nothing is given. So the fact that I am putting them on this path to learn to succeed at an early age, shouldn't be taken for granted. I don't sugar coat things with them. The world is not covered in marshmallows & lollipops. It's ugly & the few out their with happy lives had to work for that life.
My kids understand hard work. They also understand the rewards of doing their best. They are accomplishing things at 6 & 7 that I haven't even done at 35. So I am 100% proud of them. He said I was right & maybe he expected too much from his son & would loosen up a bit. I told him not to expect less, just don't be so hard on him when he makes a mistake. Don't get me wrong, I bark orders at my kids. When they make a mistake or act bratty I let them know. I'm not going to love them any less or give up on them. So when he says he's fed up or tired of trying, his sons can feel that. I also told him that I pick my battles with my kids. I don't have the energy to make every little thing they do a big deal. So getting upset with them for not doing as well in 1 thing as they do in another, is pointless to me. I try to help them get better in their weak areas, but I understand that maybe that is not their talent. My sons love taekwondo, but they don't really have a talent for it. So I'm not going to explode because they struggle with the newer moves. My kids aren't the athletic types where it all comes easy to them, but they try their best, thats all I ask.
So to the father I spoke with, I hope you figure it all out & you can look past you son's faults & figure out how to make life better at home & school for him otherwise your son will grow up resenting you & scarred.
Until next time
D
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Birthdays!!!
Happy Tuesday folks. My blogging has been at a minimum lately. Not that I don't have a million stories, a million funny things to discuss about my goofy sons & our misadventures, but life is in a rush these days. Luckily spring break is coming next week so I won't have to think about school for a few days. Anywho lets move....
So as you all know by now, I have started a new company called Jump Jumpz. I rent out Jumpers & cotton candy machines for kids birthday parties. It's a lot of fun, not too much work, but work none the less. I get to meet all of these different families & be apart of providing a bday memory for kids. I loved bday parties as a kid. My mom gathering everyone around, bbq & GIFTS! All of us kids running around with our friends, it was always a good time. But I never got to have that real big party. With jumpers, pony's & cotton candy. I never had that experience to have the biggest bday party of the year that was talked about for years. Well thats what motivates me to give my kids the best bdays I can. I want them to remember it & talk about it years later.
Part of the issue when I was a kid was timing. My birthday is June 20th, so most of the kids had already left for Summer vacation. I couldn't talk to any of my friends from school because school was out. So yea, it sucked! Now on to my kids. I go above & beyond for their bdays, usually doing too much. Like last years faled attempt for the whole fam & a few friends to get together for Daevon's 7th bday at Great America, or a couple years ago when we tried to have Isaiah's 4th party with 60 invites at Chucky Cheese (GHETTOOOOOO) & lets not forget an oldie but goodie, Daevon's 3rd bday where I caught on fire & was told to stop drop & roll by my then 9 year old kinda neice Chin....good times...NOT! Woo sah. Moving on.
So I started Jump Jumpz in honor of that. Giving kids a birthday bash is a lot easier now. There are so many places to have a party. The problem is, cost. That crap is expensive! We spend at least 1000 a year on both of our son's parties. $1000! We have 2 kids. So we are spending 500 for each child, just to eat cake & ice cream & play with their friends at places like Chuck E Cheese, Bounce A Rama, The Jungle or Pump It Up. It's insane! That doesn't even count what we spend on cakes, food & gifts! So Jump Jumpz was a brainchild for families to give their kids the best party ever at a reasonable price. I will NEVER charge a family an arm & a leg just so their children can have the birthday party of their dreams. That's my goal. To be the Walmart of birthday party places.
We celebrated Isaiah's birthday party at Bounce A Rama in the Great Mall in Milpitas. It wasn't too expensive, but we could only have a small number of kids there. 8 in total! What kind of experience is that for $300 bucks? So after that, my oldest son/future business partner Daevon said he wanted a big Jump Jumpz party at a park so we can invite EVERYONE we know so they can have fun on our jumpers & want to use them for their parties. The kid is a GENIUS! I swear! He says he wants to invite so many people so we can give out all of our cards & get a lot of money this Summer. Ahh man, this kid is gonna muscle me outta my business when he's 10! So we will have a great bday party for Daevon, & open the invite list up for anyone we know who wants to come enjoy time with our family & test out the Jump Jumpz equipment for their future events. Mark May 7th on your calenders folks, details coming next week :)
Until Next time
DJ
So as you all know by now, I have started a new company called Jump Jumpz. I rent out Jumpers & cotton candy machines for kids birthday parties. It's a lot of fun, not too much work, but work none the less. I get to meet all of these different families & be apart of providing a bday memory for kids. I loved bday parties as a kid. My mom gathering everyone around, bbq & GIFTS! All of us kids running around with our friends, it was always a good time. But I never got to have that real big party. With jumpers, pony's & cotton candy. I never had that experience to have the biggest bday party of the year that was talked about for years. Well thats what motivates me to give my kids the best bdays I can. I want them to remember it & talk about it years later.
Part of the issue when I was a kid was timing. My birthday is June 20th, so most of the kids had already left for Summer vacation. I couldn't talk to any of my friends from school because school was out. So yea, it sucked! Now on to my kids. I go above & beyond for their bdays, usually doing too much. Like last years faled attempt for the whole fam & a few friends to get together for Daevon's 7th bday at Great America, or a couple years ago when we tried to have Isaiah's 4th party with 60 invites at Chucky Cheese (GHETTOOOOOO) & lets not forget an oldie but goodie, Daevon's 3rd bday where I caught on fire & was told to stop drop & roll by my then 9 year old kinda neice Chin....good times...NOT! Woo sah. Moving on.
So I started Jump Jumpz in honor of that. Giving kids a birthday bash is a lot easier now. There are so many places to have a party. The problem is, cost. That crap is expensive! We spend at least 1000 a year on both of our son's parties. $1000! We have 2 kids. So we are spending 500 for each child, just to eat cake & ice cream & play with their friends at places like Chuck E Cheese, Bounce A Rama, The Jungle or Pump It Up. It's insane! That doesn't even count what we spend on cakes, food & gifts! So Jump Jumpz was a brainchild for families to give their kids the best party ever at a reasonable price. I will NEVER charge a family an arm & a leg just so their children can have the birthday party of their dreams. That's my goal. To be the Walmart of birthday party places.
We celebrated Isaiah's birthday party at Bounce A Rama in the Great Mall in Milpitas. It wasn't too expensive, but we could only have a small number of kids there. 8 in total! What kind of experience is that for $300 bucks? So after that, my oldest son/future business partner Daevon said he wanted a big Jump Jumpz party at a park so we can invite EVERYONE we know so they can have fun on our jumpers & want to use them for their parties. The kid is a GENIUS! I swear! He says he wants to invite so many people so we can give out all of our cards & get a lot of money this Summer. Ahh man, this kid is gonna muscle me outta my business when he's 10! So we will have a great bday party for Daevon, & open the invite list up for anyone we know who wants to come enjoy time with our family & test out the Jump Jumpz equipment for their future events. Mark May 7th on your calenders folks, details coming next week :)
Until Next time
DJ
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Supporting their interests
Hey folks, long time no speak! I've had a busy couple of weeks with school, the kids & the Jumper biz...well its been more like the cotton candy biz since mother nature has kept my customers from utilizing my jumpers! Damn rainy weather is bad for business! Eh well, things are looking bright for the spring & summer with people booking months in advance now.
So lets go. When I was a kid, I was into so many things. I loved to play basketball, I loved to draw, I loved to dance, act, sing, rap, tell jokes, play drums, piano so on & so forth. I am pretty sure that's why my mom never really pushed me in 1 particular area. She just accepted that I liked to do a lot of things. She went to all of my plays & talent shows. She signed me up for football & basketball, she even bought me an art table & casio keyboard. She was very supportive but never pushy. I want to be supportive as well & think I tend to push too much. My kids are only 6 & 7 right now. When I was 6 & 7 I didn't really do anything except maybe play toys & watch cartoons so it's hard for me to use myself as the measuring stick. I didn't really get into anything until I was 11. My sons are both already showing signs of excelling at things. They are both blue belts in taekwondo & will hopefully be black belts in the next 2 years. Do the math...go ahead, I'll wait. Yes they will be 8 & 9 by the time they are black belts. That's exciting to me. So I am very supportive but trying not to be pushy.
Now they want to do other things. I did a similar blog where I said I didn't want to be the Joe Jackson type, but thinking about things now, how do you not push your kids to want to be the best at something they love doing? My oldest Daevon loves to draw, sing & dance. Just like I did. He is getting better & better at drawing & even created my company logo which has gotten a lot of praise. His teachers even gush over his art work saying it's very imaginative. He has been hinting that he wants to sing too. He wants lessons but is too embarrassed to ask. I told him that if he wants to do it that I'd get him singing & piano lessons & later dance lessons. But he thinks all that is for girls. Eh well maybe when he's a little older. The boy is also very intelligent. He loves to read & write & has a fascination with dinosaurs. He can name almost every type of dinosaur & has said since he was 4 that he wants to be a paleontologist. ZUH?? All I can do is put him in position to succeed, what ever he loves to do, I want to be able to get him started & see how he excels on his own.
Isaiah is the youngest & the more physical one. The kid is freakishly strong & physically gifted. He is stronger & faster than his big brother. He is better at sports & way more aggressive in Taekwondo. Daevon memorizes the moves faster, but once Isaiah gets it, it's easier for him to kick harder & higher & faster than it is for Daevon. He wants to learn how to play basketball, which of course gets me excited since that is my favorite sport. He's also said he wants to learn boxing. I am going to bring him to a boxing gym this weekend so he can make his final decision & this summer I'll let them give basketball a try. Isaiah is also a fan of math. He hates to read, but math is easy for him. he just turned 6 & is only half way finished with his kindergarten year & he is already doing multiplication problems...for fun! He even wants to go back to teh Kumon learning center this Summer so he can learn higher grade math!
That's exciting. That both of my kids actually like to learn. They both like to get the correct answer. They are both competitive that way. They actually get upset when they are wrong & work to not be wrong again. So I know they will love to play sports & do other more competitive things. The hard part as I said is not getting them in over their little heads. As a dad its hard not to push your kids to do what we want them to do. If Daevon decides not to follow in my footsteps & pursue his artistic side & prefers the life of dinosaurs & fossils I'll support him. If Isaiah prefers numbers crunching as an account over being an MMA fighter or basketball player then I'll support them. What ever they wanna do, I just want them to want to be the best. That happens, I'm happy!
Until next time,
DJ
So lets go. When I was a kid, I was into so many things. I loved to play basketball, I loved to draw, I loved to dance, act, sing, rap, tell jokes, play drums, piano so on & so forth. I am pretty sure that's why my mom never really pushed me in 1 particular area. She just accepted that I liked to do a lot of things. She went to all of my plays & talent shows. She signed me up for football & basketball, she even bought me an art table & casio keyboard. She was very supportive but never pushy. I want to be supportive as well & think I tend to push too much. My kids are only 6 & 7 right now. When I was 6 & 7 I didn't really do anything except maybe play toys & watch cartoons so it's hard for me to use myself as the measuring stick. I didn't really get into anything until I was 11. My sons are both already showing signs of excelling at things. They are both blue belts in taekwondo & will hopefully be black belts in the next 2 years. Do the math...go ahead, I'll wait. Yes they will be 8 & 9 by the time they are black belts. That's exciting to me. So I am very supportive but trying not to be pushy.
Now they want to do other things. I did a similar blog where I said I didn't want to be the Joe Jackson type, but thinking about things now, how do you not push your kids to want to be the best at something they love doing? My oldest Daevon loves to draw, sing & dance. Just like I did. He is getting better & better at drawing & even created my company logo which has gotten a lot of praise. His teachers even gush over his art work saying it's very imaginative. He has been hinting that he wants to sing too. He wants lessons but is too embarrassed to ask. I told him that if he wants to do it that I'd get him singing & piano lessons & later dance lessons. But he thinks all that is for girls. Eh well maybe when he's a little older. The boy is also very intelligent. He loves to read & write & has a fascination with dinosaurs. He can name almost every type of dinosaur & has said since he was 4 that he wants to be a paleontologist. ZUH?? All I can do is put him in position to succeed, what ever he loves to do, I want to be able to get him started & see how he excels on his own.
Isaiah is the youngest & the more physical one. The kid is freakishly strong & physically gifted. He is stronger & faster than his big brother. He is better at sports & way more aggressive in Taekwondo. Daevon memorizes the moves faster, but once Isaiah gets it, it's easier for him to kick harder & higher & faster than it is for Daevon. He wants to learn how to play basketball, which of course gets me excited since that is my favorite sport. He's also said he wants to learn boxing. I am going to bring him to a boxing gym this weekend so he can make his final decision & this summer I'll let them give basketball a try. Isaiah is also a fan of math. He hates to read, but math is easy for him. he just turned 6 & is only half way finished with his kindergarten year & he is already doing multiplication problems...for fun! He even wants to go back to teh Kumon learning center this Summer so he can learn higher grade math!
That's exciting. That both of my kids actually like to learn. They both like to get the correct answer. They are both competitive that way. They actually get upset when they are wrong & work to not be wrong again. So I know they will love to play sports & do other more competitive things. The hard part as I said is not getting them in over their little heads. As a dad its hard not to push your kids to do what we want them to do. If Daevon decides not to follow in my footsteps & pursue his artistic side & prefers the life of dinosaurs & fossils I'll support him. If Isaiah prefers numbers crunching as an account over being an MMA fighter or basketball player then I'll support them. What ever they wanna do, I just want them to want to be the best. That happens, I'm happy!
Until next time,
DJ
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
The Panic Button!
Man this has been a crazy week. I have a lot of big changes going on in my life all at once. I've been doing a pretty good job this year of keeping my business to myself & only giving up info when necessary. I am usually an open book, but being so open usually gets me into trouble or drama. I am drama free right now & loving it. I've been keeping my self productively busy at work, school, home & in my personal life. Every day I make something happen. So I am patting myself on the back for a great start to the first quarter of 2011.
On with it! Here I go. So this week has been CRAZY! I had a paper & test due this week, the boys mom has been sick (she NEVER gets sick), I've been out of commission for a few days due to a pulled muscle in my lower back, my youngest busted his head open at school & had to be rushed to the emergency room & my oldest lost his DSI & the brand new game I JUST bought him last week!! GASP! Due to all of this I had to miss a day of work & both of my classes. I've been working on managing my frustrations with minor bumps especially the once that are concerning my children. I mean these are great boys! They make me proud every day! Shoot, just last week, I got their report cards & MAN what great reports. Both teachers gushed over how great both read (both are the top readers in their class!), both excel in math & both get along with all of the kids in class & follow directions. I don't have bad kids. I mean Isaiah can be a handful & Daevon can be sneaky but neither are what I consider bad. So the events of this week made it hard for me NOT to hit the panic button.
Lets start with Isaiah's busted coconut. Like I said, Isaiah can be a handful. That boy is all over the place. He is very hyper. What I like to call a "boy boy". He jumps all over the furniture, colors all outside the lines! plays too rough with his brother & makes a mess when he eats. I was the exact same way! So I can't get annoyed with him. Last week he wasn't listening to my sister & got punished. This week, he was playing carelessly & banged his little head against the jungle gym during recess. He said "the bottom of the jungle gym got smaller & he should have ducked lower". I said, Uh NO you are getting taller & need to pay attention to your surroundings. He looked so confused. In his mind, he is & will always be that small size. SMH, kids! Anyway, so I took him to the hospital & told him that we had to get his bloody head looked at so his brains stopped oozing out. He was so worried & asked "what happens if my brains keep coming out?. I told him he'd become a mindless zombie. He yelled "FIX IT DADDY!" HEEELARIOUS! So while the doctor took a look, she saw that the cut was large enough to require 1 staple. He closed his eyes tight, grabbed the nurses hand tight & prepared to cry once the staple pierced his scalp. The doctor looked at me worried because I opted not to get the numbing shots which would be 3 times more painful than the 1 staple. Isaiah calmly said "I'm ready to be brave". They stapled my baby's head & he just said "Ouch! That hurts when I make a frowny face". WHEW He took it like a G not 1 tear shed. I guess since I didn't hit the panic button he didn't panic & was able to absorb the painful staple a little better.
As we were leaving the hospital I was told that I may have to pay the doctor $550 for the emergency room visit. I have medical insurance but I was paying over $100 extra each month for my kids to be medically insured by my job, but their mom's insurance was free & she never needed my insurance for them, so I had them removed from mine to get just another $10 on my checks! (how does that work? I was paying nearly 200 bucks a month so me & my kids were covered only to get an additional $10 bucks after dropping them from my insurance...stupid government conspiracies man!) But I digress, :)I was 2 seconds from hitting the panic button but their mom called the hospital to make sure the visit was added to her insurance & we just had to pay the copay. WHEW! So I told Isaiah, that I would get him a nice surprise for being such a good boy!(as I am writing this, I was just called & told that my son got in trouble on the school bus for hitting one of his classmates. SIGH no new game & more punishment)It never ends.
Now onto Daevon. Daevon is usually the good one. The one we worry the least about because he usually does what he's supposed to. The kid makes mistakes, but I don't have to yell at him or discipline him too much because the kid goes out of his way to make me & his mom proud of him. He brings home an award a week. Perfect attendance, top reader, citizenship, helpfulness, top test scores, you name it, he brings it home. The problem is, the boy is so good, he kinda has this idea in his head that certain rules don't apply to him. Like cleaning his room, doing little things around the house without asking (turning the channel to what he wants to watch while me or his brother is watching something else)& telling his little brother what to do. He is also pretty careless with his stuff. I blame that on myself because every toy or game that he's lost or broken I've replaced right away. He has no concept of a dollar because to him, he asks for it, he gets it. So every day, they ask to bring their Nintendo DSI's to their grandmother's house because they get bored waiting for me or their mom to pick them up. On nights where I know one of us will be late I let them take them. I usually stuff it down in their bags where no one can see it. Well yesterday, the genius that I am, didn't take the time to tuck it away safely in his bag. I just tossed it in the bag on top of his lunch box. So my son accidentally forgot to close his bag & his game was some how lost. It either fell out or was stolen. Either way it go bye bye! Now he expects me to buy him another one. Keep in mind this is the 3rd DSI he's had in only 7 years of being on earth, 3 of which he was too young to even play a DSI. So buying him a 4th is out of the question. But I maintained composure. Yes I am annoyed because this is not just some $2 action figure. This is a $150 toy & the 3rd 1! Do the mamath...go ahead I'll wait...yea 450 smackarooos son! That's not even counting the brand new Pokemon game I bought him for $40! Woosah! Breath David....do not hit the panic button son! Ok I'm good. I fought every urge to lecture him about keeping track of his possessions, but this one was my fault. I should have made sure I tucked it a way. Oh well live & learn.
I love both of my boys to death, but they are making me lose my hair at a rapid rate. So I will keep working on my patience with them. They make mistakes so I just need to just save that panic button for the big stuff. WOOOSAH!
Peace folks
DJ
On with it! Here I go. So this week has been CRAZY! I had a paper & test due this week, the boys mom has been sick (she NEVER gets sick), I've been out of commission for a few days due to a pulled muscle in my lower back, my youngest busted his head open at school & had to be rushed to the emergency room & my oldest lost his DSI & the brand new game I JUST bought him last week!! GASP! Due to all of this I had to miss a day of work & both of my classes. I've been working on managing my frustrations with minor bumps especially the once that are concerning my children. I mean these are great boys! They make me proud every day! Shoot, just last week, I got their report cards & MAN what great reports. Both teachers gushed over how great both read (both are the top readers in their class!), both excel in math & both get along with all of the kids in class & follow directions. I don't have bad kids. I mean Isaiah can be a handful & Daevon can be sneaky but neither are what I consider bad. So the events of this week made it hard for me NOT to hit the panic button.
Lets start with Isaiah's busted coconut. Like I said, Isaiah can be a handful. That boy is all over the place. He is very hyper. What I like to call a "boy boy". He jumps all over the furniture, colors all outside the lines! plays too rough with his brother & makes a mess when he eats. I was the exact same way! So I can't get annoyed with him. Last week he wasn't listening to my sister & got punished. This week, he was playing carelessly & banged his little head against the jungle gym during recess. He said "the bottom of the jungle gym got smaller & he should have ducked lower". I said, Uh NO you are getting taller & need to pay attention to your surroundings. He looked so confused. In his mind, he is & will always be that small size. SMH, kids! Anyway, so I took him to the hospital & told him that we had to get his bloody head looked at so his brains stopped oozing out. He was so worried & asked "what happens if my brains keep coming out?. I told him he'd become a mindless zombie. He yelled "FIX IT DADDY!" HEEELARIOUS! So while the doctor took a look, she saw that the cut was large enough to require 1 staple. He closed his eyes tight, grabbed the nurses hand tight & prepared to cry once the staple pierced his scalp. The doctor looked at me worried because I opted not to get the numbing shots which would be 3 times more painful than the 1 staple. Isaiah calmly said "I'm ready to be brave". They stapled my baby's head & he just said "Ouch! That hurts when I make a frowny face". WHEW He took it like a G not 1 tear shed. I guess since I didn't hit the panic button he didn't panic & was able to absorb the painful staple a little better.
As we were leaving the hospital I was told that I may have to pay the doctor $550 for the emergency room visit. I have medical insurance but I was paying over $100 extra each month for my kids to be medically insured by my job, but their mom's insurance was free & she never needed my insurance for them, so I had them removed from mine to get just another $10 on my checks! (how does that work? I was paying nearly 200 bucks a month so me & my kids were covered only to get an additional $10 bucks after dropping them from my insurance...stupid government conspiracies man!) But I digress, :)I was 2 seconds from hitting the panic button but their mom called the hospital to make sure the visit was added to her insurance & we just had to pay the copay. WHEW! So I told Isaiah, that I would get him a nice surprise for being such a good boy!(as I am writing this, I was just called & told that my son got in trouble on the school bus for hitting one of his classmates. SIGH no new game & more punishment)It never ends.
Now onto Daevon. Daevon is usually the good one. The one we worry the least about because he usually does what he's supposed to. The kid makes mistakes, but I don't have to yell at him or discipline him too much because the kid goes out of his way to make me & his mom proud of him. He brings home an award a week. Perfect attendance, top reader, citizenship, helpfulness, top test scores, you name it, he brings it home. The problem is, the boy is so good, he kinda has this idea in his head that certain rules don't apply to him. Like cleaning his room, doing little things around the house without asking (turning the channel to what he wants to watch while me or his brother is watching something else)& telling his little brother what to do. He is also pretty careless with his stuff. I blame that on myself because every toy or game that he's lost or broken I've replaced right away. He has no concept of a dollar because to him, he asks for it, he gets it. So every day, they ask to bring their Nintendo DSI's to their grandmother's house because they get bored waiting for me or their mom to pick them up. On nights where I know one of us will be late I let them take them. I usually stuff it down in their bags where no one can see it. Well yesterday, the genius that I am, didn't take the time to tuck it away safely in his bag. I just tossed it in the bag on top of his lunch box. So my son accidentally forgot to close his bag & his game was some how lost. It either fell out or was stolen. Either way it go bye bye! Now he expects me to buy him another one. Keep in mind this is the 3rd DSI he's had in only 7 years of being on earth, 3 of which he was too young to even play a DSI. So buying him a 4th is out of the question. But I maintained composure. Yes I am annoyed because this is not just some $2 action figure. This is a $150 toy & the 3rd 1! Do the mamath...go ahead I'll wait...yea 450 smackarooos son! That's not even counting the brand new Pokemon game I bought him for $40! Woosah! Breath David....do not hit the panic button son! Ok I'm good. I fought every urge to lecture him about keeping track of his possessions, but this one was my fault. I should have made sure I tucked it a way. Oh well live & learn.
I love both of my boys to death, but they are making me lose my hair at a rapid rate. So I will keep working on my patience with them. They make mistakes so I just need to just save that panic button for the big stuff. WOOOSAH!
Peace folks
DJ
Monday, March 14, 2011
Spare The Rod Spoil The Child....
Happy angry Monday folks. I call it angry Monday cuz most people I know HATE Mondays. Mondays do indeed stink! I used to look forward to Mondays back when I was working where I wanted to work. I guess it's true what they say, "love what you do & never work a day in your life". I guess most of us are doing the opposite "hate what you do & feel like an under paid under valued slave secretly wishing you could give your boss a paper cut!" WOOSAH! Breath, it could be worse. We could have NO job. So on with my observation of the week.
My mom always told me that the bible said something like "Spare the rod, spoil the child". I'd like to put a new spin on that, spare the child....that's it! That saying just SCREAMS child abuse to me. Probably because my pops used an actual rod & SPARED NADA using it upside my head. Mom's neither. She used anything in her weight peripheral that she could lift to hit me with. I wasn't a bad kid, I just had a mouth piece. As you can tell. I wasn't outside causing trouble. I did what I was told for the most part. I mean i got into SOME careless situations. Like I used to LOVE the smell of fire. Don't ask me why, but I was amazed by it & used to set small fires...Damn I was a baby arsonist son! All bad lookin back on it. Needless to say my mom beat my ARSE! She spared no expense or ROD beatin my butt to get me out of that bad habit. Looking back, it was just what I needed to keep me from growing up and becoming a serial arsonist or accidentally hurting myself or someone else. Good job mama.
Now that I am a parent I find myself in that odd place of wanting to be my kids best friend, but also having to discipline them. I hate seeing the fear on their faces when they mess up & I come home. Everyone wants to tell me when they were not behaving & I have to try to discipline them on 2nd hand info. I wasn't there so I don't know how sever my discipline should be. The hardest part is, I am the only disciplinarian. The boys mom gripes at them, but her best discplinary action is to say "I'm going to tell your dad". Same goes for her fam & mine. So when I get home from a long day at work or school, I have to build up the energy to punish them. Now you all know, when you come home from a long day, you still have the stain of the day heavily on your shoulders. You are pissed at your boss or co workers, maybe someone cut you off on the road making you miss your exit or a customer cursed you out. What ever it is, you are usually not in the best mood when you get home. So the poor kids end up getting the brunt of that.
So over the weekend, my kids stayed with my sister & my youngest decided to do his own thing. My youngest is a free spirit & usually tries to do what ever he wants to do. Then when he gets in trouble, he cries louder than everyone. I allow my boys to make mistakes. No one is perfect, but if I don't put my foot down, I am not doing my job. I am not protecting or teaching them anything. I took a child development class last semester & my final report was on child abuse. I haven't spanked my kids since doing that assignment instead choosing to take things away from the kids as punishment. The truth is, that worked WAY better than spankings. It made them start calling me a softy & talk back sometimes, but for the most part, those mistakes started becoming far & in between. Now back to this weekend. So my sister tells my sons & nieces to stay in front of the house where she can see them. She lives in a safe place, so there were no worries. Isaiah decides to run off. This of course freaks my sister out. But he was safe all was good & dandy & she sure enough wanted to beat his behind! Which I woulda had no problem with.
ENTER DADDY! This boy came with every lame excuse he could think of trying to convince me that he didn't know he was being bad. He 1st said "I was racing an invisible person & beat him over there daddy", flashing those adorable cheek bones. He also said "I thought I was allowed to run over there if I run super fast" & lastly his favorite excuse that NEVER works, "My brain told me to go over there". This kid needs to stop listening to his brain cuz it only gets him into trouble. So I gave him a choice. I told him that he could either get spanked or no video games all week. Scared as hell he chose no video games for the week. SO I lectured him, about the things he does that gets him into trouble. Told him that the last thing I want to do is spank my kids or make them sad. That all I ask is they pay attention & be respectful to people. To stay focused & to be honest.
He had this terrified look on his face the whole conversation. I asked if he was more scared of me than strangers & he said yes! I told him that isn't how it's supposed to be. My job is to protect him. He shouldn't be afraid of me if he is doing what he's supposed to. He said that I am mean sometimes, because I yell when he makes mistakes & that I don't play with him enough. Gut punch right there! But I told him that if he promises to try harder to be a good boy, I will try harder to not be so mean & that all I want is for him to have a happy life. If he's happy I am happy.
SO finally after a long winded daddy speech about putting himself in danger by not paying attention, he was bored outta his mind & decided to take the spanking to get it over with. So I spank him, he is crying hysterically like I am actually hitting his butt with a bat (like my dad used to). So after 5 minutes of crying he got to play his game & completely forgot he was spanked. Now in this case I did not spare the rod, but did I still spoil my child? Did he actually learn his lesson? I feel like a spanking & taking his games woulda been excessive because again I wasn't there. But I feel like I should have stuck to my guns & just banned the games. That would have been more effective in the long run. Lesson learned, some situations sparing the rod is the right thing to do & I think this was one of them....
Your thoughts?
DJ
My mom always told me that the bible said something like "Spare the rod, spoil the child". I'd like to put a new spin on that, spare the child....that's it! That saying just SCREAMS child abuse to me. Probably because my pops used an actual rod & SPARED NADA using it upside my head. Mom's neither. She used anything in her weight peripheral that she could lift to hit me with. I wasn't a bad kid, I just had a mouth piece. As you can tell. I wasn't outside causing trouble. I did what I was told for the most part. I mean i got into SOME careless situations. Like I used to LOVE the smell of fire. Don't ask me why, but I was amazed by it & used to set small fires...Damn I was a baby arsonist son! All bad lookin back on it. Needless to say my mom beat my ARSE! She spared no expense or ROD beatin my butt to get me out of that bad habit. Looking back, it was just what I needed to keep me from growing up and becoming a serial arsonist or accidentally hurting myself or someone else. Good job mama.
Now that I am a parent I find myself in that odd place of wanting to be my kids best friend, but also having to discipline them. I hate seeing the fear on their faces when they mess up & I come home. Everyone wants to tell me when they were not behaving & I have to try to discipline them on 2nd hand info. I wasn't there so I don't know how sever my discipline should be. The hardest part is, I am the only disciplinarian. The boys mom gripes at them, but her best discplinary action is to say "I'm going to tell your dad". Same goes for her fam & mine. So when I get home from a long day at work or school, I have to build up the energy to punish them. Now you all know, when you come home from a long day, you still have the stain of the day heavily on your shoulders. You are pissed at your boss or co workers, maybe someone cut you off on the road making you miss your exit or a customer cursed you out. What ever it is, you are usually not in the best mood when you get home. So the poor kids end up getting the brunt of that.
So over the weekend, my kids stayed with my sister & my youngest decided to do his own thing. My youngest is a free spirit & usually tries to do what ever he wants to do. Then when he gets in trouble, he cries louder than everyone. I allow my boys to make mistakes. No one is perfect, but if I don't put my foot down, I am not doing my job. I am not protecting or teaching them anything. I took a child development class last semester & my final report was on child abuse. I haven't spanked my kids since doing that assignment instead choosing to take things away from the kids as punishment. The truth is, that worked WAY better than spankings. It made them start calling me a softy & talk back sometimes, but for the most part, those mistakes started becoming far & in between. Now back to this weekend. So my sister tells my sons & nieces to stay in front of the house where she can see them. She lives in a safe place, so there were no worries. Isaiah decides to run off. This of course freaks my sister out. But he was safe all was good & dandy & she sure enough wanted to beat his behind! Which I woulda had no problem with.
ENTER DADDY! This boy came with every lame excuse he could think of trying to convince me that he didn't know he was being bad. He 1st said "I was racing an invisible person & beat him over there daddy", flashing those adorable cheek bones. He also said "I thought I was allowed to run over there if I run super fast" & lastly his favorite excuse that NEVER works, "My brain told me to go over there". This kid needs to stop listening to his brain cuz it only gets him into trouble. So I gave him a choice. I told him that he could either get spanked or no video games all week. Scared as hell he chose no video games for the week. SO I lectured him, about the things he does that gets him into trouble. Told him that the last thing I want to do is spank my kids or make them sad. That all I ask is they pay attention & be respectful to people. To stay focused & to be honest.
He had this terrified look on his face the whole conversation. I asked if he was more scared of me than strangers & he said yes! I told him that isn't how it's supposed to be. My job is to protect him. He shouldn't be afraid of me if he is doing what he's supposed to. He said that I am mean sometimes, because I yell when he makes mistakes & that I don't play with him enough. Gut punch right there! But I told him that if he promises to try harder to be a good boy, I will try harder to not be so mean & that all I want is for him to have a happy life. If he's happy I am happy.
SO finally after a long winded daddy speech about putting himself in danger by not paying attention, he was bored outta his mind & decided to take the spanking to get it over with. So I spank him, he is crying hysterically like I am actually hitting his butt with a bat (like my dad used to). So after 5 minutes of crying he got to play his game & completely forgot he was spanked. Now in this case I did not spare the rod, but did I still spoil my child? Did he actually learn his lesson? I feel like a spanking & taking his games woulda been excessive because again I wasn't there. But I feel like I should have stuck to my guns & just banned the games. That would have been more effective in the long run. Lesson learned, some situations sparing the rod is the right thing to do & I think this was one of them....
Your thoughts?
DJ
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
The Joe Jackson Effect
Hey folks, happy Tuesday. So as some of you may have heard, I recently started a side business renting out 1 jump house & 1 cotton candy machine for kids birthdays called Jump Jumpz (Large jumpers coming very soon!). So far so good. I had my 1st official party this past Saturday & it was a great turn out! The kids all had a ball, parents were thanking me for providing the kids with free cotton candy & the jump house being the life of the party. Unfortunately the birthday boy never went inside the jumper but he enjoyed the cotton candy & managed to avoid every hi 5 attempt I made so I guess it was a success for him too. So while at the party, I was talking to birthday boys dad. We were talking about kids extra curricular activities & not pushing the kids too far. I call it the Joe Jackson effect.
So the bday kid's dad said that he loves baseball. He'd take his son outside & try to play catch with him, tried teaching him how to hit the ball, but his son wanted no part of it. His son preferred basketball. The dad likes basketball, but he wanted his son to follow his interests but didn't want to push him, so now he goes with his son's interests & they have more fun with it. That hella made me think. I get props all the time for being a good dad. I usually take the humble road because I don't think I deserve props for doing what I am supposed to do, but when dude said tha,t it made me rethink all of my parental mistakes. I tell my kids that the music they like is lame, I joke with them about shows they like or toys they wanna play with. I am a Joe Jackson! I wanted my kids into what I wanted them into. I tried taking them out to learn basketball, took em to Warrior games & even attempted to sign them up for basketball until they said they didn't want to play. I was gonna force them to learn a musical instrument, I was gonna put them in football too. These are things I like. My oldest asked to learn to play tennis years ago & I just kinda shrugged it off. When they asked to learn karate my eyes BULGED! I was hella pumped! My little boys wanted to be tough guys! (Enter audience APPLAUSE HERE!)
So my kids activity of choice is Tae Kwon Do. After 2 years (& HELLA DUCKETS!) my oldest is now a blue belt & my youngest is currently an advanced green belt, soon to join his brother as a blue belt next week if all goes well. When I first put them in it, I had all these big ideas like getting them into other martial arts once they got their black belts, getting them into boxing & maybe even gymnastics to work on their balance & flexibility. I rushed to tell my confidants! My amigos! My 2 younger brothers & my mom & sisters!.... not 1 of them shared my enthusiasm (enter audience boos & hisses here). My brother Ray even jokingly asked "you tryin to raise some little black ninjas or what?" JERK! So I brought my exciting news to their mothers side of the fam & all I got was "NOOO they could get HURT!". Boooo not 1 person understood my excitement. I wanted to learn martial arts my whole life. But we couldn't afford it. I wanted to be the black Ernie Reyes Jr.! Smallest kid in the room kickin older dudes hind parts with ease & telling jokes as I did it! SHONUF! Now I get to live vicariously through my kids & NO ONE is taking that away from me! MUHAHAHA!
So after a while, I banned the boy's mom & others from going to the boys TKD classes so I could focus on them being the best. I barked out orders from the sidelines like a jumbo sized soccer mom & I yelled at them for having bad practices. I would make them practice their form, their balance & their responses at home until I was satisfied. I had them practice good push ups & all that. Then 1 day out of no where, my oldest son said "Daddy we aren't having fun anymore". A punch straight to the gut! I started thinkin about my dad & how hard he pushed me before he bounced on us. He used to make me do work outs at home. Push ups, sit ups, jumping jacks & even jog around the house. I remember goin so hard 1 day that my nose started to bleed & I started to cry. I was yelled at & forced to "man up!" & that he wasn't raising any sissy's (he actually used a more derogatory term commonly used to demean gay men but I ain't goin there). So with that in my head I decided to back off. I started to leave my kids alone & they actually started doing better with out me pushing them so hard.
Now I get called a softy because I do my best to always make sure my kids are having fun. Even when they learn. I tried the Joe Jackson way, to scare them into doing what I wanted, but that method only makes them regress & not progress. I want my kids to want to be the best at what ever they wanna do for them, not for me. All I can do is guide them & give them as many opportunities as possible to find what they like. I will adjust for them & be into what ever they are into. So that's it for me. No more Joe Jackson Effect. I'm raising 2 good men & I want them to find their own path & just hope that they have the desire to be the best at it...what ever IT is :)
Peace
DJ
So the bday kid's dad said that he loves baseball. He'd take his son outside & try to play catch with him, tried teaching him how to hit the ball, but his son wanted no part of it. His son preferred basketball. The dad likes basketball, but he wanted his son to follow his interests but didn't want to push him, so now he goes with his son's interests & they have more fun with it. That hella made me think. I get props all the time for being a good dad. I usually take the humble road because I don't think I deserve props for doing what I am supposed to do, but when dude said tha,t it made me rethink all of my parental mistakes. I tell my kids that the music they like is lame, I joke with them about shows they like or toys they wanna play with. I am a Joe Jackson! I wanted my kids into what I wanted them into. I tried taking them out to learn basketball, took em to Warrior games & even attempted to sign them up for basketball until they said they didn't want to play. I was gonna force them to learn a musical instrument, I was gonna put them in football too. These are things I like. My oldest asked to learn to play tennis years ago & I just kinda shrugged it off. When they asked to learn karate my eyes BULGED! I was hella pumped! My little boys wanted to be tough guys! (Enter audience APPLAUSE HERE!)
So my kids activity of choice is Tae Kwon Do. After 2 years (& HELLA DUCKETS!) my oldest is now a blue belt & my youngest is currently an advanced green belt, soon to join his brother as a blue belt next week if all goes well. When I first put them in it, I had all these big ideas like getting them into other martial arts once they got their black belts, getting them into boxing & maybe even gymnastics to work on their balance & flexibility. I rushed to tell my confidants! My amigos! My 2 younger brothers & my mom & sisters!.... not 1 of them shared my enthusiasm (enter audience boos & hisses here). My brother Ray even jokingly asked "you tryin to raise some little black ninjas or what?" JERK! So I brought my exciting news to their mothers side of the fam & all I got was "NOOO they could get HURT!". Boooo not 1 person understood my excitement. I wanted to learn martial arts my whole life. But we couldn't afford it. I wanted to be the black Ernie Reyes Jr.! Smallest kid in the room kickin older dudes hind parts with ease & telling jokes as I did it! SHONUF! Now I get to live vicariously through my kids & NO ONE is taking that away from me! MUHAHAHA!
So after a while, I banned the boy's mom & others from going to the boys TKD classes so I could focus on them being the best. I barked out orders from the sidelines like a jumbo sized soccer mom & I yelled at them for having bad practices. I would make them practice their form, their balance & their responses at home until I was satisfied. I had them practice good push ups & all that. Then 1 day out of no where, my oldest son said "Daddy we aren't having fun anymore". A punch straight to the gut! I started thinkin about my dad & how hard he pushed me before he bounced on us. He used to make me do work outs at home. Push ups, sit ups, jumping jacks & even jog around the house. I remember goin so hard 1 day that my nose started to bleed & I started to cry. I was yelled at & forced to "man up!" & that he wasn't raising any sissy's (he actually used a more derogatory term commonly used to demean gay men but I ain't goin there). So with that in my head I decided to back off. I started to leave my kids alone & they actually started doing better with out me pushing them so hard.
Now I get called a softy because I do my best to always make sure my kids are having fun. Even when they learn. I tried the Joe Jackson way, to scare them into doing what I wanted, but that method only makes them regress & not progress. I want my kids to want to be the best at what ever they wanna do for them, not for me. All I can do is guide them & give them as many opportunities as possible to find what they like. I will adjust for them & be into what ever they are into. So that's it for me. No more Joe Jackson Effect. I'm raising 2 good men & I want them to find their own path & just hope that they have the desire to be the best at it...what ever IT is :)
Peace
DJ
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