The Joe Jackson Effect

Hey folks, happy Tuesday. So as some of you may have heard, I recently started a side business renting out 1 jump house & 1 cotton candy machine for kids birthdays called Jump Jumpz (Large jumpers coming very soon!). So far so good. I had my 1st official party this past Saturday & it was a great turn out! The kids all had a ball, parents were thanking me for providing the kids with free cotton candy & the jump house being the life of the party. Unfortunately the birthday boy never went inside the jumper but he enjoyed the cotton candy & managed to avoid every hi 5 attempt I made so I guess it was a success for him too. So while at the party, I was talking to birthday boys dad. We were talking about kids extra curricular activities & not pushing the kids too far. I call it the Joe Jackson effect.

So the bday kid's dad said that he loves baseball. He'd take his son outside & try to play catch with him, tried teaching him how to hit the ball, but his son wanted no part of it. His son preferred basketball. The dad likes basketball, but he wanted his son to follow his interests but didn't want to push him, so now he goes with his son's interests & they have more fun with it. That hella made me think. I get props all the time for being a good dad. I usually take the humble road because I don't think I deserve props for doing what I am supposed to do, but when dude said tha,t it made me rethink all of my parental mistakes. I tell my kids that the music they like is lame, I joke with them about shows they like or toys they wanna play with. I am a Joe Jackson! I wanted my kids into what I wanted them into. I tried taking them out to learn basketball, took em to Warrior games & even attempted to sign them up for basketball until they said they didn't want to play. I was gonna force them to learn a musical instrument, I was gonna put them in football too. These are things I like. My oldest asked to learn to play tennis years ago & I just kinda shrugged it off. When they asked to learn karate my eyes BULGED! I was hella pumped! My little boys wanted to be tough guys! (Enter audience APPLAUSE HERE!)

So my kids activity of choice is Tae Kwon Do. After 2 years (& HELLA DUCKETS!) my oldest is now a blue belt & my youngest is currently an advanced green belt, soon to join his brother as a blue belt next week if all goes well. When I first put them in it, I had all these big ideas like getting them into other martial arts once they got their black belts, getting them into boxing & maybe even gymnastics to work on their balance & flexibility. I rushed to tell my confidants! My amigos! My 2 younger brothers & my mom & sisters!.... not 1 of them shared my enthusiasm (enter audience boos & hisses here). My brother Ray even jokingly asked "you tryin to raise some little black ninjas or what?" JERK! So I brought my exciting news to their mothers side of the fam & all I got was "NOOO they could get HURT!". Boooo not 1 person understood my excitement. I wanted to learn martial arts my whole life. But we couldn't afford it. I wanted to be the black Ernie Reyes Jr.! Smallest kid in the room kickin older dudes hind parts with ease & telling jokes as I did it! SHONUF! Now I get to live vicariously through my kids & NO ONE is taking that away from me! MUHAHAHA!

So after a while, I banned the boy's mom & others from going to the boys TKD classes so I could focus on them being the best. I barked out orders from the sidelines like a jumbo sized soccer mom & I yelled at them for having bad practices. I would make them practice their form, their balance & their responses at home until I was satisfied. I had them practice good push ups & all that. Then 1 day out of no where, my oldest son said "Daddy we aren't having fun anymore". A punch straight to the gut! I started thinkin about my dad & how hard he pushed me before he bounced on us. He used to make me do work outs at home. Push ups, sit ups, jumping jacks & even jog around the house. I remember goin so hard 1 day that my nose started to bleed & I started to cry. I was yelled at & forced to "man up!" & that he wasn't raising any sissy's (he actually used a more derogatory term commonly used to demean gay men but I ain't goin there). So with that in my head I decided to back off. I started to leave my kids alone & they actually started doing better with out me pushing them so hard.

Now I get called a softy because I do my best to always make sure my kids are having fun. Even when they learn. I tried the Joe Jackson way, to scare them into doing what I wanted, but that method only makes them regress & not progress. I want my kids to want to be the best at what ever they wanna do for them, not for me. All I can do is guide them & give them as many opportunities as possible to find what they like. I will adjust for them & be into what ever they are into. So that's it for me. No more Joe Jackson Effect. I'm raising 2 good men & I want them to find their own path & just hope that they have the desire to be the best at it...what ever IT is :)


Peace
DJ